Narcissistic Relationships are very unstable as a lot of it comes down to what mood the Narcissist is in. They can demonstrate nothing but hate for you one day and then love you to the end of the world and back tomorrow. Narcissists are not consistent or considerate in their dealings with those they claim to love. This is why people end up walking on eggshells around a Narcissist, for the very fact that they can be so moody.
We have already established that loving a Narcissist does not work. Being forgiving, accommodating and continually reacting to their hurtful behaviours is not the way to go. That will only stress you out and feed the Narcissist’s ego in the process. But we need to remember that Narcissists are needy people. They want your time, love and attention while they give nothing back in return.
So, when you turn off that emotional tap and just stop caring about the Narcissist, that gets their attention. You not paying them attention. You not reacting to their provocations. And you not trying to please them. You not caring what they are up to. You not giving in to their demands. And you not seeking their approval or validation. All these are signals to the Narcissist that they are losing control of you.
Alarm bells go off in the Narcissist mind because the Narcissist needs you when you are a precious source of supply, so they need to know that you love them or care about them. That gives them hope that they can still manipulate you and control you. They cannot cope knowing that you don’t care about them or that you consider them irrelevant. No matter how much they have hurt you, in their minds, they don’t think it warrants you getting to the point of not loving or caring for them anymore.
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