1. Stick to the facts.
To begin with, do your best to stick to the facts. Stay focused on logic, reason, and black-and-white facts, meaning the objective truth as opposed to your subjective truth. Also, you’ll want to try to speak in the “I” language. Phrasing anything you need to say in the form of “I” statements can be helpful in that the narcissist is less likely to feel attacked and, therefore, less likely to feel like they need to have to defend themselves with a counterattack. For example, you could say, “I feel like you’re not considering my needs” instead of you’re being selfish.
2. Keep your cool.
Not always easy for sure. But again, in so much as you’re able, stay cool. Calm, cool, and collected is the goal. You’ll find it helpful to consider practicing the grey rock method to help you achieve this.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
3. Set boundaries with confidence.
In order to hold your ground, set healthy boundaries and stand your ground when you do so. And if you want to know more about how to set boundaries with a narcissist, read this article here. This can sound like, if you continue to yell at me, I’ll leave, Or, I need a 15-minute break. We can resume the conversation when I get back. When it comes to setting boundaries with confidence, this is much easier to do with some practice. So practice when it doesn’t matter, when the stakes are low. This way, when it does matter, when the stakes are high, you’ll have some practice under your belt and it’ll be easier for you to draw a line in the sand and then back yourself.
4. Have a time limit.
If the argument is going nowhere and making you feel bad about yourself, do what you can to end the interaction peacefully. And if you can’t do that, then just end the interaction. For example, you can say something like, “I have an appointment at two o’clock. I have to get going in 10 minutes.” And then in 10 minutes, leave. Period.
And last, but not least, in some cases, a relationship with a destructive narcissist can not only turn abusive but also dangerous. If someone starts making threats against you in any way, it’s best to leave the situation as soon as possible. And to be clear, threats include but are not limited to, physical threats towards you, your loved ones, or your pets. So please do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and others who may be vulnerable safe. Always.
Read More: 8 Ways to Make a Narcissist Respect You.
Sharing is caring!
