1. Use the Gray Rock method.
That just means to disengage with the narcissist. Don’t let them affect you emotionally in any way, even though that’s going to be a little difficult. With practice, you can get there.
Remember that you can only control yourself and act from that perspective. Don’t pretend to believe a narcissist lies. Don’t take the bait when they try to engage you in an argument or any other sort of drama. Just don’t engage with them.
2. Set & maintain strong boundaries.
The next thing you have to do is make sure you set boundaries. And when the narcissist inevitably steps on them, make sure you’re prepared to stand firmly behind them.
Immediately, warn the narcissist the moment that they step over that boundary. Explain to them exactly what you’re going to do if they continue to cross it. But if you’re going to enact any sort of consequence or denial of attention, you must be willing to do so you can’t threaten the narcissist and not follow through.
Side note
It’s okay if you’ve done that in the past. It’s pretty common. Don’t beat yourself up for it but it’s time to make a change now. So from today on, if you say you’re going to do something, then do it, even when it feels uncomfortable.
3. Stop apologizing when you shouldn’t.
The next thing you need to do is stop apologizing to the narcissist for things you didn’t do. And I know it kind of becomes automatic. They scream and yell at you for no reason and before you even hear what they said half the time, you’re going, God, I’m sorry. You don’t have to do that anymore.
Stop apologizing unless you mean it because what a narcissist hears when you apologize is, Oh yeah, I was right all along, you were wrong, thanks for acknowledging that, even when half the time they don’t accept your apology anyway. Apologizing to a narcissist in order to get them to back down or to reason with them a waste of your energy and your time, don’t bother, it will backfire.
A book: Divorcing A Narcissist And Other Jerks
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