Question number three: What are some of your deepest pains and hurts?
If you were to ask a narcissist that question, they would look at you as if you have asked a stupid and silly question. They believe they do not have any hurts or traumas to recall and are way stronger to be impacted by what happened to them. In their head, this is how it looks like: “I’m not a weakling like you. You may have pains to dwell on, but I don’t.” They might acknowledge that some people maltreated them in the past, but to negate the impact, they would add, “That doesn’t bother me anymore. It never did. It is in the past.”
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
But then, if you go on and continue asking, if you don’t have any hurts, why are you so mean or why are you so reactive, they will berate you for interrogating and judging them. They do not see the connection between their present abusive behavior and past painful and dysfunctional experiences. The notion that “I am above this” is enough for them to justify why nothing happened to them and why all the problems in the relationship are because of you.
Read More: 6 Rumours Narcissists Like To Spread About You.
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