Number 1: They will act as if nothing happened.
One of the first signs you will encounter when a narcissist is trying to hoover you is when they contact you out of the blue, keep an eye out for messages of nostalgia, or questions that appear to be harmless. The goal isn’t to figure out the answer, it’s to refocus your attention on them. They’ll merely contact you to sweep the matter under the rug and expect your routines to stay the same. This may involve contacting you to inquire about your day or sending you funny memes, anything that was normal in your relationship before. They may come up at your workplace and offer to take you home, bring you coffee during your break, random offering of flowers without occasion, and so on.
Narcissists would never admit they made a mistake or accept responsibility for their conduct. They may act as if nothing terrible happened in their relationship. This is all a deception for the narcissist to keep the channels of communication open while also attempting to deceive you into believing their relationship isn’t truly over.
Number 2: They will apologize so much.
Remember that narcissists cannot truly change. You may believe that it is worthwhile to try again with them and accept their apologies, but please, think twice or three times. Expect them to appear repentant and overly apologetic. This hoovering technique has deceptive undertones that may persuade you. Change the subject of conversation and observe how they react. If the narcissist becomes irritated with you, it appears that their sorry is not genuine.
Narcissists do what benefits them at the expense of others. These sorry behaviors will only continue because they worked in the past, so be careful of apologetic behaviors that appear to be performative. They make a big show of it, this is yet another method for manipulation, and it’s tempting. But the most acceptable apology improves behavior over time rather than verbosity. Consider what you desire and the most appropriate reaction for you right now.
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