Hoovering is a behavioral term used to describe a narcissist (or someone with narcissistic tendencies) who uses emotional manipulation to lure their partner back into a toxic relationship. “The term comes from the concept of a Hoover vacuum, [where a narcissist] will ‘suck up’ the happiness from their previous partner in order to get them to return to them,” Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed psychologist specializing in relationships and trauma, tells us. Usually, this behavior comes on the heels of a separation. One partner attempts to remove themselves from the relationship, while the other does everything in their power to regain control.
When narcissists feel they’re losing control over you, they use hoovering as an emotional abuse or blackmail technique. Hoovering is the act of quickly and eagerly consuming something. It is an attempt to trick you into another cycle of abuse so they can restore their power in you. From a narcissist’s perspective, they will try to suck you back into a relationship by any means necessary, like how you began your relationship with them. They will often start by being sweet and charming but eventually be poorly treated
How can you tell if you’re being hoovered up by a narcissist? Read until the end as we give you 9 signs that you are being hoovered by a narcissist.
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