3. Criticism.
When the narcissist experiences a narcissistic injury, it’s because they feel less valuable or important, but they don’t want to reflect on these feelings. It’s too painful for them to deal with. So instead, they try to put you beneath them, by targeting your sense of worth. They do this by criticizing you, by indicating your faults in a disapproval way to make you feel like you’re not good enough because that’s exactly how they feel.
But if they can put the focus on you, it makes them feel better, it makes them feel like they’re not the problem, and that’s what their criticism is designed to do. It’s designed to deflect the focus onto you, to keep you looking at yourself because they don’t want to feel like they’re at fault. They don’t like how it feels, and they don’t want to do the work to change the dysfunctional behaviors.
4. Opposition.
When you have caused a narcissistic injury, the narcissist will immediately become oppositional to you. They will refuse to do what you want them to do- they will be very disruptive. If you pick up on any of their flaws, there has to be something wrong with you; you have to be wrong because they just can’t accept that they’re anything less than perfect.
When you question or confront them, they feel like they’re losing control. They feel like you’re taking back your power. So to regain control of the situation, they become opposed to whatever you stand for. Even if they secretly agree with you, if it’s unfavorable for them, they have to be in opposition to it. They will only agree with something if it benefits them.
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