Number 3. How big of a fixer you are.
Again, if you have your childhood wounds and you were someone who was the caretaker of the family, you became the caretaker of your parents or your siblings, and you were the one who would fix everything in the family, then that wound can get activated here in the narcissistic relationship and they test that as well. If they see that you are a fixer, if they see that you are the one who never gives up and who finds Solutions and who goes around and makes things run, who fixes things, they would on purpose, break things in the relationship and then wait for you to fix them. If you go on and do the fixing, you become the premium Supply they are looking for.
Number 4: Being super empathetic, caring, and sympathetic.
A narcissist would create a sob story, would create a Web of Lies about their past, how they were treated miserably by everyone they have been with so far, or how their childhood was painful and how they were traumatized. They do not do it with the intention of sharing it with you or being vulnerable. It is just that they are testing what you are going to do in response. And, of course, anyone who is healthy would show compassion, would show care, and understanding, but it depends on to what level.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Again, the fixer wound can get triggered again here in this fourth test, and you may then make a promise to yourself that this person has been hurt so far by everyone they have met, I will be the one who will change that. I’ll be the one who will give them a different experience. And surprisingly, you are not the first one to say that, to believe that, to think that. There have been countless people before you who have done that, who thought that, and never got anywhere with the narcissist. So, they become the victim to test your empathy, to test your levels of giving, to test your sympathy, to test how big of a caretaker you are.
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