Number 3: When you discard and the tables get flipped on them, they lose their mind.
A narcissist doesn’t want to be ignored and doesn’t like to be discarded. They have to be the ones to throw you away as an object. But if you are the one who discarded the narcissist, congratulations, you gave the narcissist their biggest punishment and injury.
A narcissist cannot accept the fact that they were taken for granted, that their existence was so small. It mattered so less to you that you just left them. It makes them really, again, question their worth, and their omnipotence, because they like to believe that they are all-powerful, they’re impenetrable, and they are immune. But your act of leaving them is what sets them off.
And that is why they try to hoover you, not because they want to change or want to win your love back; they want to win their supply back. They want to satisfy themselves that they are not as weak as your leaving made them feel. It is why, if you have already left the narcissist and they are hoovering you, do not give them any chance. Do not make the mistake because you have done the right thing.
And if they are promising things, if you are seeing the change in them that you always wanted to see, it is a confirmation that they are trying to please you Just to bring you back. They have been thoughtfully and devastatingly injured in their ego. So keep moving on and don’t look back.
Number 4: Self-righteousness and rigidity.
These are the two traits very common in the narcissistic personality. They want to believe that they are always right, that everyone else around them has got it wrong and that they are the only one who knows the truth. But as we know, that is completely flawed and skewed. It is impossible. They cannot know all of it, of course. And in fact, none of us know all of it. There is always room for learning. So they don’t think that way; they think that they are all perfect. They don’t have anything to learn. They don’t have anything to take in. And they know the subject without truly knowing it or they pretend to know it.
A Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship).
But when they are proven wrong by someone, for example, in a court case, they have arguments that make sense on the surface level. But when you dig in and you have your counterarguments ready and they are quite solid and they clearly expose them and prove them wrong, they are shaken in their core. They are shocked because they can’t accept that they have been defeated. That anyone else, especially you, because you were the primary victim, knows better than them. And that is what gives them a major injury. That is what shocks them.
They can’t accept that they were defeated by a “stupid”, “naïve” person like you because they think that their intellect is godlike, that their knowledge is superior, and that they are morally and in other ways superior to everyone else. It is almost like it puts them in a state of denial and crisis because they can’t accept defeat. Winning is what they have to do. Defeat is not a word in their vocabulary.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
