Number 4: Rare Heart-Felt Conversations.
At night or some other time, they would reach out and have a very witty fun-filled conversation, heartfelt conversation with you. You would feel connected, you would feel seen. They do it, especially somewhere near the devaluation stage, probably they are in a good mood or they want something from you, or they want to prevent you from leaving. There is some kind of ulterior motive that you can’t see, but this texting is quite witty, fun-filled connected. It feels heartfelt, but it’s not.
And ultimately, it’s just one of those special and unique experiences that you have with them, that you feel fulfilled, but then they deprive you of the same. And this kind of conversation either does not happen again throughout the duration of the relationship, or it happens after a very, very long time when they want something from you and they know they won’t get it easily.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
What it does to you is just reinforce your trauma bonding. It makes you keep coming back. craving for the same intensity that you felt once in that conversation. It increases your cognitive dissonance and you ask questions like: “Well, maybe he is not that bad. She is not so narcissistic. Why would she or he have such a heartfelt conversation with me through text?” They don’t see you at all. It’s just more about how they feel and what they want. Once they get it, done.
Number 5: They Leave You Hanging.
They leave you hanging by hooking you with a small text without interest or content. For example, they might send a text early in the morning at 9 AM, saying good morning, but then when you respond instantly, they leave you hanging in there. It’s like them pressing a button in you, eliciting a reaction, seeing that you are still there, then running away, and then taking some kind of sadistic pleasure from seeing you suffer, from you wanting to have that conversation.
This mind game of back and forth, push and pull drives a person crazy because you do not know how to respond to this kind of behavior. You do not know where you are, you don’t know what your status is, and you don’t know where you stand in this relationship. You don’t know what’s happening because it’s confusing. They would ignore you and if you ignore back, then they would come in and drop this little text: “Hi”. “Hello”. “Good morning.” Whatever.
You respond back and you think maybe now they have realized, and then they drop you like a hot potato and it is the same pattern again. It keeps happening over and over again until you just feel like you have turned into a shell of yours.
Read More: 10 Things Only Narcissists Say to You.
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