5. Self-sovereignty.
This is a big one; maintaining your personal sovereignty. In other words, you don’t need them for anything. Now that might not be your current reality, and if it isn’t, that’s the goal. That’s where you want to get to as quickly as you possibly can. You don’t want to be indebted to a narcissist for any reason. Now, maybe depending on the situation, you have something they covet, they want, they need; that’s fine. But the reverse, you don’t need them for anything. Completely self-sovereign. If you’re not there yet, that’s where you want to be.
Now you have to be careful with this one, for sure, because you can very accidentally trigger narcissistic injury and thus insight, narcissistic rage, right? If you accidentally trigger their fear of abandonment or they somehow feel rejected by you, this is never gonna go well, because, of course, who are you to reject the narcissist, right? So they’re fragile little egos, it doesn’t take much. I can tell you, you want to be careful.
Sometimes we can’t avoid this and it is what it is, and the fallout is what it is, and it’s not our stuff, and it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be. But to the best of your ability, if you can sidestep that, you’re always gonna be better off, right?
Now, the thing about this is, narcissists are often so delusional in their false sense of superiority and all of this egotistical delusion of grandeur going on, that they will often feel that it’s ever so disrespectful of you to not hang out and allow them to continue to disrespect you. Gossip about you behind your back, smear you, shred you to smithereens the way they do, whoever happens to not be in the room at the time, right? And all their little flying monkeys and little minions enjoy participating in this as well. That is more often than not the situation that we’re dealing with.
A BOOK: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse
So the more sovereign you can be in terms of not being indebted, you don’t need them for anything, you’re good, you’re completely independent, the whole lot easier it’s gonna be for you to navigate these tricky dynamics, preferably, eventually, if not sooner rather than later, navigate your way right out of the dynamic altogether. Always gonna be our best bet, no contact with this type of individual, in my opinion, and experience.
But suffice to say, that’s not always possible. So when it’s not possible, the goal is to be sovereign to the best of your ability. You don’t want to be indebted. You don’t need them for anything. You’re standing on your own two feet, completely adulting, and you’re good.
Read More: 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Ignore Them
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