Number 9: “What are you even talking about?”
When you’re attempting to communicate with a narcissist, when you’re doing your level best to get through to them and express how you feel and why the truth of your experience or the negative impact their attitudes and behavior are having on you and your emotional and psychological wellbeing, you’ll often be met with, “What are you even talking about?” Or, “I don’t see how that’s possible.” Which of course, is nonsense.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
They are liars. They know exactly what you’re talking about; they just can’t own their shit. So they pretend to be at a loss, which, of course, implies that you’re making no sense whatsoever. They don’t even know where you’re coming from as well as reinforcing the classic “You’re crazy” narrative. And they do this with full intent to discredit and invalidate you, your feelings, the truth of your experience, as well as your perception of reality.
In other words, I’m pretending to not understand what you’re saying or where you’re coming from, so I can avoid being held accountable for the appalling way I treat you in this relationship. It’s gaslighting, friends, nothing less. And if you want to learn more about gaslighting, you can read this article here.
Number 10: False accusations.
They’ll say whatever it takes, whatever works, including accusing you of doing and being everything that they, in fact, are and have always been. Furthermore, if they can combine it with something they know is a sensitive issue for you, make it especially hurtful, bonus. They’ll go for the jugular. Whatever will provoke an intensely negative reaction in you, so they can now point the finger at you and say, “See, I told you she was crazy. Clearly, they’re the problem here, not me, it’s them. See?”
Unless you’re really solid and bulletproof, and even then, don’t give them the opportunity. Stay above reproach and more importantly, keep your distance or break ties with anyone who feels entitled to provoke you in this fashion no matter who they are. What I know for sure is this: People with a destructive narcissist personality pattern do not change.
In fact, what’s going on with these folks tends to get worse, not better over time. And it’s fully your job to take care of yourself in the face of narcissistic perpetrators. If you don’t, who will? Certainly not the narcissist.
Read More: 10 Desperate Things Narcissists Do When You Are Not Around.
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