Number 6: “You’re the only one.”
As I said, they use sweeping statements a lot. Not just everybody always and never statements, but they’ll also use the words only and ever to hone in on and target you specifically because according to them, you’re the only one who has ever had this issue with them. You’re the only one they’ve ever had this issue with.
Not only is this a dead giveaway into the level of toxicity and stupidity you’re dealing with when they’re making only and every statement in relation to you. It’s also just one more way they attempt to sidestep and avoid accountability while simultaneously shifting blame onto you, trying to make you the problem. Are you starting to see a pattern here?
What you have to keep in mind is the ease with which they lie as well as the extent to which they project. Just because a narcissist says a thing does not necessarily make it true. In fact, the higher they are on the spectrum, the more likely it is they’re lying through their teeth. How do you know a narcissist is lying? Simple; their lips are moving.
So when they’re saying something like, “You’re the only one.” When they’re using words like only and ever in relation to you and all the drama trauma they themselves have brought to the table of the relationship dynamic, hold on to yourself. Remember who you are, who, and what you’re dealing with, and affirm the following: “Lying about me does not change what’s true about you, buckaroo.” Enough said.
Number 7: “You’re so selfish.”
Coming from a narcissist, this is ridiculous, obviously, but it’s also a classic example not only of just how diluted they are but again, the extent to which they project their own character flaws and personality traits onto the nearest target, usually the most highly empathic target. Why? Because the light and the love that you carry disturb the guilt, fear, and shame that they carry. True story!
Now that said, it’s also another way they attempt to shift blame and avoid accountability. You’re seeing the pattern here now, right? You have to remember that you’re dealing with a deeply insecure wounded little toddler, pretending to be an adult in an adult body. And while this can be infuriating, to say the least, believe me, I know. It’s also comical if you can detach yourself enough from the crazy-making dynamic to see it for what it is.
The thing is the narcissist is most likely to accuse you of being the selfish and self-centered person in the relationship the moment they realize that you aren’t going to be easy to control or manipulate, and neither are you going to be willing to capitulate to their expectations and demands and therefore aren’t cooperating with or enabling them in their toxic and destructive nonsense.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Rather, if you’re anything like me, you’re drawing a line in the sand, calling them on their bullshit, and letting them know in no uncertain terms that you’re not playing. And here’s the thing about that. The moment you set a limit or a boundary with no way to their own boundaryless behavior, their sense of entitlement, expectations, desires, or demands, you’ll be called among other things, selfish, because you’re so selfish for taking care of yourself. You’re so selfish for standing up for yourself. You’re so selfish for having reasonable healthy limits and boundaries, for having a mind and a life of your own.
You’re so selfish when they can’t succeed in manipulating, dominating, or controlling you. And you’re especially selfish when they can’t get away with lying to or about you. How dare you love and respect yourself enough to say no or no thank you, or better yet, beat it. How dare you. Don’t you know who the narcissist thinks they are?
Number 8: “You’re the liar. I never lie.”
There are two key reasons why the narcissist will call you a liar. First, they want to give you the impression that you’re more like them than you think you are. Bring you down to their level, so to speak. And second, if you haven’t done your work, and they can trigger your fear and insecurities, causing you to feel the need to prove yourself, and you react by spending all kinds of time and energy trying to convince everyone of the truth of the matter, they win.
Not only have they managed to get you all frothed up and obsessed with setting the record straight, and the more you do that, the less it works by the way. But also you’re going to be a whole lot less focused on the fact that the narcissist is the actual liar, as well as whatever it is they’re lying about and why.
If you allow it, if you fall for this crap, then they’ve managed to divert your attention away from the reality and the truth of the matter, compelling you to defend and explain yourself to anyone who will listen, while simultaneously sucking you deep into the inverted reality that is narcissistic abuse, where everything is upside down, inside out, and backward. Sick stuff, but this is how it works.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
