Number 1: You are convinced that the narcissist is a good person with good intentions who loves you and cares about your needs, despite heap loads of evidence to the contrary. So, if you created a chart or a timeline of your relationship and wrote down all of the significant events that have happened since the beginning, both the good and the bad, and then looked at it from a rational, objective perspective, ask yourself what advice would you give a friend who is in the exact same situation and relationship. If that advice is to run as fast as possible, but you still can’t leave, then there is a good chance that that is due to trauma bonding.
Number 2: You are walking on eggshells, watching everything you say and do to avoid upsetting the narcissist. You see your actions as the cause of their abusive behavior and believe that if you can just change in the right ways, stop doing things to provoke them, or just show them enough love and safety, you will be able to change, fix, or rescue them, despite the fact that things have been getting progressively worse over time.
Number 3: You greatly appreciate minimal efforts and gestures from the narcissist, and you rationalize, minimize, justify, excuse, and tolerate their abusive behavior.
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