4. Fear of intimacy.
Another very big reason why do narcissists cheat is that they are deeply afraid of intimacy. They view intimacy as codependence, like slow strangulation. They see it as stripping them of their freedom. insurance quotes
Relationships with narcissists are usually intense, especially in the beginning. But the intensity is very different than intimacy. So when they are in a marriage or a committed relationship, this is a threatening and very uncomfortable situation for them. So cheating and Affairs serve to alleviate those fears in that deep overwhelming feeling that they are chained to this other human being, that in their mind makes them less than average and boring. Not to mention narcissists are fixated on sexual gratification, not establishing and nurturing intimacy with a partner. care insurance.
5. Despise routine.
A fifth reason why do narcissists cheat is that they despise routine, and they crave excitement. Remember, they bore very easily. So having an affair or cheating introduces risk and excitement into what they view as a very average boring mundane existence. Having a routine can cause depression in the narcissist. So cheating and having this double life is incredibly appealing to the narcissist.
The problem is that this new exciting affair they’re having that alleviates the boring routine, they’re trying to escape. Eventually, also becomes routine and starts to make them feel average. So, usually, their destructive behavior will only increase as time goes on. compare car insurance online.
So you might be saying to me, well, why in the hell doesn’t the narcissists leave me if I’m so boring in routine? Why do they fight to keep me when I learn of these affairs? Why do they continue to hurt and harm me by doing this? Why don’t they just leave? Leave me for this exciting life of sex that they clearly desire. And that is because they desire to have both at different times. care insurance.
Narcissus both crave and loathe intimacy stability and security. Their internal attachment style is an approach-avoidance style. They truly desire a committed relationship, but when that starts to become a reality, they kind of panic and switch to an avoidance attachment style.
It’s like this unending cycle of wanting and then repelling. Yes, I want it. No, I don’t, that scares me and makes me feel average. I want it. No, I don’t, I’m too special for a life like that. I want it, no I don’t. I’m bored. And around and around a ghost. care insurance.
A book: Divorcing A Narcissist And Other Jerks
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