3. Comparisons.
Narcissistic mothers love to make comparisons; comparing their kids to other kids, depending on what she wants to accomplish. For example, if she is wanting to gloat and boost her own ego, she will compare how wonderful her kids are to so-and-so’s kids. However, if she’s wanting to hurt or manipulate her own kids, she will degrade and insult them by comparing them to others.
She will talk about how wonderful someone else is or what an amazing job they did on something that you have also done. She rarely will just say outright that she thinks you’re inadequate, but she’s always very quick to remind you that your sibling or someone else did it better. And she loves to compare herself to her kids also, especially her daughters. If you accomplish something, you’re guaranteed she also accomplished it when she was younger and accepted a way better job than you did.
Basically, her put-downs and insults are by comparison a lot of times, and because of this, her kids will push themselves in all kinds of unhealthy ways because they know they are always going to be compared to someone else.
4. Sneaky.
Narcissistic mothers are incredibly sneaky and covert with their abuse tactics. They are very careful not to get caught; everything she does is deniable. No matter what they do, how awful or terrible, she always has some excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander are slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what’s best for you.
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