All narcissists will have the same core toxic traits like; being selfish, probably pathological lying, gaslighting, and the desire for narcissistic supply, etc. But some behaviors they pull off a little better than other narcissists.
1. Control.
The biggest trait I think with all narcissists is, control, and this is very evident with narcissistic mothers. They want to have complete control over all aspects of their children’s lives. They view their children as extensions of themselves, so these women micromanage everything when it comes to their kids. From their clothes to their friends, to the music they’re allowed to listen to, to where they can and cannot go; they are absolute control freaks.
All narcissists are preoccupied with image, but this is especially true of the female narcissist. And if that female narcissist is also a mother, they are literally consumed with the image of their family and obsessed with their children portraying a very specific image to the outside world. So these mothers want to control all aspects of their children’s lives and they use all kinds of different manipulation tactics to keep control.
Usually, they will be more covert than overt. For example, they’re masters at guilt trips, withholding love and affection to get you in line with their wishes, or using emotional blackmail. Narcissistic mothers are brilliant when it comes to using fear, obligation, and guilt to control their kids. And unfortunately, these control issues will usually continue into their children’s adult lives.
2. Treating others as if they’re their servants.
Another quality of having a narcissistic mother is that they treat others as if they’re their servants, and their kids are no exception. And let me tell you, they are shameless when it comes to this. The child of a narcissistic mother will often act as if they are her personal slave, in hopes of just catching a sliver of affection, especially if the child is the scapegoat.
The scapegoat might as well be her personal slave because that child never gets a break, and if you’re the step kid, you’re literally doomed. They expect everyone to wait on them.
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