3. The emergency!
This is typically more common for the female narcissist to do to the male narcissist, but both male and female narcissists use this one. Now, all of a sudden, there is some kind of a crisis, some absolute emergency that he or she cannot live through without your immediate assistance.
Remember, typically targets of narcissists will be highly empathetic and compassionate and no one knows this more than the narcissist. So they are masters at triggering your empathy or pity for them in a hoover. When they are desperate for a narcissistic supply, there is just no limit to what they will say or do.
4. The fake worry or concern!
This is a perfect excuse for them to contact you because they have been worried about you, and just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. This way they can again still save face if you reject them, and if you don’t, and you fall for the hoover, well then mission accomplished. What you must always remember, especially if you have been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist is that maintaining no contact is critical.
First of all, anytime you break no contact, you are going to get a wave of cognitive dissonance, which means you will start thinking about all of the good times you two had. You probably will have what we call abuse amnesia, and the contact will activate the trauma bond, the addicted brain, and a trauma-bonded addicted brain is going to play tricks on you and lie lie lie.
Breaking no contact during a hoover can cause all kinds of damage to your recovery, even if the hoover doesn’t work. Just having the contact alone can cause a wave of cognitive dissonance so destructive, that it takes you back to square one in the recovery process.
Find out more: What Narcissists Do When A Relationship Ends
You always must remember, narcissists use words for three reasons, and three reasons only, to gaslight, to confuse, and to manipulate. You cannot believe one single word that comes out of the narcissist’s mouth. The only thing that you can be certain about is that their patterns of behavior will continue. Those patterns of behavior are who they are. So please, keep that in mind when and if you are hoovered. The narcissist has not changed, they aren’t sorry, they aren’t genuinely concerned about you, and they didn’t accidentally bump into you. The reality is they’re low on narcissistic supply so they turned back to you in hopes you could give them a hit or two. Please, don’t take the bait, don’t ever fall for a hoover.
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