5. Phony flattery and empathy
Notice the very important word in that sentence “phony”, because it’s critical. Narcissists are becoming more and more educated that society is becoming more and more educated about the tell-tale red flags to watch out for on how to spot them.
And as we all know, the biggest factor when trying to discern if someone is a not narcissist or not is the level of empathy that they have for other people. Because of this, many narcissists have switched up their playbooks and will appear to be super kind and empathetic when you first meet them. There’s even this new type of narcissist that is referred to as the communal narcissist.
These narcissists gain their narcissistic supply from leading people to believe that they have these superhuman levels of empathy, and are doing all kinds of good things for the community. However, if you pay close attention, their empathy will be highly manipulative. It won’t feel sincere. It’s just too over the top, to out in your face, and it’ll always be on display for all to see.
6. Trash talks their ex
It’s a huge red flag. If you are engaging with someone for the first time, or on a first date and they trash their ex or their ex-spouse, do yourself a huge favor, and don’t go on a second date with this person. This is so common for narcissists to do, and it’s a play how much empathy you have for their situation, as well as the play at triangulating you against the ex, even as early as the first date. Any bad-mouthing about a previous partner is a very bad sign.
A book: Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family
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