4. They’ll make you doubt your strength.
It’s like they have a sixth sense for your insecurities, and they’ll zero in on them with laser precision. So they might say things like, “Are you sure you can handle that job?” or “You think you’re so tough, but I know deep down you’re just scared and weak.” The narcissist wants to make you feel guilty, ashamed, fearful, inadequate, or insecure, or maybe all of the above. Because they know if they can get you to doubt yourself, you’ll be much easier to control. And the worst part is, they’re really good at it. You might start wondering if you’re really as strong as you thought, if you can really trust your own perceptions, and if you can trust yourself at all.
But if you’re in this place and you’re feeling all of this right now and you’re having all these doubts right now, please know that this is just another one of the narcissist’s manipulations. They’re not pointing out your weaknesses because they want you to grow. They’re doing it to keep you under their thumb. So whenever you feel those doubts creeping in, remember, your strength is what scares them. It’s what threatens their control. And every time you stand up for yourself, every time you hold on to your truth in the face of their lies, you’re proving just how powerful you really are.
5. They will double down on control.
At the end of the day, everything the narcissist does is about one thing: control. They need to feel like they’re in charge, like they have complete power over you. So when they see you becoming stronger, more independent, and more sure of yourself, that’s when the narcissist will go into overdrive, doing whatever it takes to gain that control. They might increase their manipulation, alternating between expressing love one minute and tearing you down the next. They might become more aggressive, yelling at you or even resorting to physical intimidation. Alternatively, they might choose to withhold affection, giving you the cold shoulder until you’re practically begging for their attention. It’s all about keeping you off balance, making you strive for their approval and validation.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship)
The thing is, it’s easy to fall back into old patterns when the narcissist starts using these tactics. You might find yourself slipping into a people-pleasing mode, doing whatever it takes to keep the peace and avoid their anger. But remember, every time you give in to the narcissist’s attempts to regain control, you’re surrendering a little piece of your power. So when you feel the power struggle starting again, take a deep breath and remember how far you’ve come. Each time you stand your ground, you’re sending a strong message that you are no longer a pawn in their game, and you never will be again.
For those of you who don’t feel safe or comfortable confronting the narcissist in your life, standing strong within yourself is powerful too. You’re still sending the message that you’re not a pawn in the narcissist’s game anymore, but you’re doing it internally, and that’s important as well.
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