1. Brace yourself
The first thing you need to do is brace yourself. Typically, when we are headed to court with one of these people, it’s for a divorce and, or a custody battle, or co-parenting issues. However, we are likely still dealing with very high levels of cognitive dissonance.
Meaning, we are still trying to reconcile that the narcissist is indeed a narcissist and that we are likely in the fight for our lives. You need to come to terms with this as soon as possible, because I am here to tell you that as bad as you know things are, as cruel and spiteful as you know the narcissist can be.
When they get to court, it takes their deception, their need for revenge, their desire to win, and humiliate you any possible way they can to a whole new level, nothing is off-limits.
2. Smear campaign
You need to prepare yourself for the most disgusting and vile smear campaign that you can imagine and don’t be surprised if the flying monkeys come in to further smear you to this court and to the court professionals. Also, unfortunately, it is not unusual for the narcissist to enlist people from your own family to help them destroy your reputation and your life.
More times than not, it’s around this time when we realize our ex-partner is a narcissist for us to also realize that one of our parents is one as well. This is a big reason why we were naive enough to get involved with a person like this in the first place, because we have been subjected to narcissistic abuse from a parent, so it was our normal.
So the point to this is to prepare for anything, prepare for a vicious smear campaign, prepare for the very real possibility that the court professionals will be uneducated if not completely unethical. Also, you need to find yourself the best attorney that you can. It’s critical that you trust your own attorney as it certainly isn’t unheard of for the narcissist to be able to sway your own attorney against you.
3. Prepare for your ex
Prepare for your ex and anyone involved with him or her to completely rewrite history into a narrative that puts them in the best possible light.
In fact, it’s not uncommon for the narcissist to do a role reversal in court, meaning they blame you for the exact things they are guilty of and take credit for the good things you have done in the marriage or as a parent.
Many times, it’s as if the narcissist has taken your identity and given you theirs.
A BOOK: Divorcing A Narcissist And Other Jerks
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