3. Blame shifting.
You might be met with some good old blame-shifting. Narcissists are notorious for shifting blame and accountability for things they are guilty of doing. For example, now all of a sudden, it’s not their fault they have overstepped your boundaries, but it’s your fault for causing them to do that. If you hadn’t done XYZ, then they would have never done whatever provoked you to want to establish these boundaries in the first place.
It’s no longer they who are responsible, but it’s actually you who is responsible. And they were simply having a normal reaction to something you did wrong or unfair. They are going to try and confuse you and shift the cause of their behavior onto you. They aren’t responsible for not respecting your boundaries, but you are responsible for doing something to make them disrespect your boundaries.
And if you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse for years and years, this is an incredibly successful manipulation tactic. All narcissists utilize blame-shifting to their advantage. Do not take the bait.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
4. Anger or narcissistic rage.
You may very well be met with anger or even narcissistic rage. Narcissists believe that they are entitled to treat people anyway they choose, and if you don’t like it, well, that’s just too bad, deal with it. Not to mention that just the fact that you tried to approach a topic that the narcissist doesn’t like, that in and of itself can produce a narcissistic injury. And when they get a narcissistic injury, that has to be accommodated and equalized.
The most common way that narcissists emotionally regulate themselves after a narcissistic injury is with narcissistic rage, nothing like scaring you to death for even thinking about establishing boundaries with them. And the reality is that rage has proven to be a very effective and successful tool for the narcissist to regain full control of other people. So don’t be surprised if your new boundaries are met with rage.
5. The silent treatment.
You could very well be met with a huge dose of the silent treatment. We all know narcissists love to punish unruly victims with a ton of silence. The reality is that narcissists will likely view you initiating boundaries with them as a crime that deserves to be punished, and nothing gets the message across that you have done something terrible as the silent treatment.
And narcissists are extremely competitive, they want to win always, and that’s the most important thing to a narcissist. So typically, they can go for agonizingly long periods of time giving you the silent treatment. It’s a very effective tool, and they have no problem using it in order to get what they want and gain control of the situation.
So don’t fall for it, and continue on. Enjoy the break, but don’t give in to the silent treatment.
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