8. Pervasive non-cooperation.
Another of their tactics is that they can have pervasive non-cooperation with you. It’s another part of their passive-aggressiveness. In addition, there’s hardly any regard that they’ll have for your boundaries. Your distinctiveness and you having your own preferences is a nuisance to them, and so they won’t go along with that. Other times, they’ll show no interest in the things that interest you. It’s like, “Why would I care about that? I mean, if you like a particular kind of music or if there’s just an activity that you enjoy, they can think, “Well, that’s stupid.” And you know, whenever you pursue it, you’re going to get the scorn from that.
9. Irregularities in managing sexuality.
Another of their tactics is they can have irregularities in the way that they manage sexuality. And there are so many subcategories of that. I’m just going to let you fill in the blanks on that. Do you get an idea of what I’m talking about? There’s hardly any end to the mindset of the narcissist who says, “I’m going to break you. I want you to know that there’s only one person in this equation whose opinion matters, and it’s not you. What you bring to the relationship with me is not adequate. You are not adequate.” And the more they can get you to buy into the messages that go along with that, in their mind, life is good. And I’ve spoken with so many people who’ve said, “I’ve just become a shell of who I am. It’s like, yeah, they broke you, and now you’re living in ways and you don’t even like.”
Narcissists, strangely enough, feel like it’s their burden in life to have to tolerate someone like you. But they have this poor me kind of attitude. Go figure. And then on top of it, they tend to show virtually no insight with respect to their own multiple dysfunctions. Instead, they persistently blame other individuals. They’re constantly the victim, which means that you’re constantly the villain. You’re the one who’s making life miserable.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Now, early in a relationship with them, they may actually groom you with compliments and gifts and things like that. But in retrospect, you can look back and say, “Yeah, any of that nice stuff is actually part of their phony chameleon effect. It was just all part of a game that gets you under their control.”
So, in the midst of all of this, and I know so many of you are shaking your head right now, thinking so much of this resonates, in the midst of this, you can ask yourself, “Well, am I that repugnant?” The narcissist will say, “Yes, you are.” But then my response to that is, “Well, consider the source.” The narcissist thinks that you exist to satisfy their fragile ego, and that’s not exactly what I would call a good motivation for whatever they do with you.
Related: 10 Signs of a Person Suffering from C-PTSD Due to Narcissists.
I’m hoping that you can remind yourself, “I’m in the presence of a very broken person. The reason they try to break you is they’re in a constant compensation mode for their own brokenness.” And like I said, no insight. They don’t see that at all. But you’re in the presence of a very broken person.
Breaking another individual’s spirit to elevate one’s own is a terrible strategy for healing and moving forward. And it’s the ultimate hypocrisy. But nonetheless, that’s what narcissists will do. Reasoning with that narcissist will only worsen your problem. Therefore, I’m hoping you can decide, “I’m going to individualize my efforts to be a healthy person.”
Read More: 10 Weird Mannerisms of People Abused By Narcissists.
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