Number 8: The abuser is easily hurt and insulted.
Even the simplest comment or action can be seen by the abuser as an insult, an intrusion, or an attempt to control them. They believe their time is more important than anyone else’s, so they don’t want to waste it on things like casual conversations, family responsibilities, or housework. Abusers often feel misunderstood and unappreciated. If someone tries to help them, give advice, or show concern, the abuser takes it as an insult. They see it as someone pointing out their flaws as if they need help because they aren’t perfect.
If someone tries to plan or organize something, the abuser sees it as an attempt to control them. Because of this, the abuser often avoids being around people (like someone who is withdrawn) but also constantly feels like others are out to get them (like someone who is paranoid).
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 9: Sadistic.
Abusers are sometimes sadistic and they have inappropriate effects. In other words, they find the obnoxious, heinous, and shocking to be funny or even gratifying. They are sexµally sadomasochistic, deviant, or auto-erotic. They like to torment and hurt people’s feelings. They do it sometimes humorously or with bursting honesty, but it’s still sadistic.
While some abusers are stable and conventional, others are antisocial and their impulse control is flawed. They are reckless, self-destructive, self-defeating, and just plain destructive. They engage in workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsive shopping, or reckless driving.
The lack of empathy, aloofness, disdain, sense of entitlement, restricted application of humor, unequal treatment, sadism, and paranoia do not render the abuser a social misfit. This is because the abuser mistreats only his closest—his nearest and supposedly dearest. He abuses his spouse, his children, or, more rarely, colleagues, friends, and neighbors. To the rest of the world—those who don’t know him intimately—the abuser appears composed, rational, and functioning. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy—often with the active help of their victims—over their dysfunction and misbehavior. They are great actors and succeed in deceiving the entire world, all people, all the time.
Read More: 5 Weird S£xµal Habits of a Narcissist.
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