Number 1: Haughty, arrogant body language.
The abuser adopts a physical posture that implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness, and unused indifference. Though the abuser usually maintains sustained and piercing eye contact, he often refrains from physical proximity. He keeps a personal territory around him. Abusers take part in social interactions, even mere banter, but they do so condescendingly, from a position of supremacy, full magnanimity, and largeness. Even when the abuser feigns precariousness, he rarely mingles socially. He prefers to remain the observer or the lone wolf.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Number 2: Entitlement markers.
Abusers immediately ask for special treatment. They don’t want to wait their turn. They want to have a longer or shorter therapeutic session. They want to talk directly to authority figures and not to assistants or secretaries. They want to be granted special payment terms. They want to enjoy custom-tailored arrangements. This goes well with the abuser’s alloplastic defenses—his tendency to shift responsibility to others or to the world at large for his own needs, failures, behaviors, choices, mishaps, etc.
The sentence most beloved by abusers is, “Look what you made me do.” The abuser is the one who vocally and demonstratively demands the undivided attention of the head waiter in a restaurant, monopolizes the hostess, or latches onto celebrities at a party. The abuser reacts with rage and indignation when denied his wishes or treated the same as others, whom he always deems inferior. Abusers frequently and embarrassingly dress down service providers such as cab drivers.
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