1. “You can be vulnerable with me.”
The first lie that narcissists tell is, “You can be vulnerable with me.” Now, they may outright say this. They may actually tell you that you can be vulnerable and that it’s safe to share your stories, your experiences, your feelings, and your hardships. But unfortunately, if you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s not safe. Now, this isn’t something that you’re going to be able to use to determine whether you’re dealing with a narcissist because, in reality, you should be able to be vulnerable with people who are close to you.
So, if somebody is telling you that you should be vulnerable with them, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re narcissists. But this is a lie that all narcissists tell in one way or another. They may do this by making you feel comfortable. They might not actually say the words, or they might do this by asking you questions and telling stories from their own life to kind of help you let that guard down.
2. “You can rely on me.”
The second lie that all narcissists tell is, “You can rely on me, or “I’ve got your back.” And unfortunately, even if the person that you’re dealing with, the highly narcissistic person, even if they mean it in the moment, really, there’s only one person that they’re out for, and that is themselves. A narcissist will only ever cover their own back. And yes, maybe they’ll do nice things for you or for other people if it’s convenient for them or if they can get something out of it. But if it comes down to it, if they just flat out don’t want to do something for you, they’re not going to do it. And so, they might create this feeling kind of like, “We’re in this together, you know? I’ve got your back; you’ve got mine.”
Unfortunately, most of us end up finding this out at the worst possible time, that the other person isn’t really there for us. In fact, they can very quickly change their tune. They can go from being your best friend and somebody who’s in your corner, somebody who’s there for you, to being somebody who is absolutely against you, somebody who’s smearing your name or doing things actively to hurt you. And unfortunately, a lot of us end up feeling foolish for trusting this person in the first place. But really, if you’re in this place, it’s not your fault. It’s by design. These are part of the core lies that narcissists tell to get you to let your guard down and to get you to trust them.
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