1. “I know the truth about you” or “I see right through you.”
That’s right, narcissists cannot stand to have their masks unceremoniously removed and their true selves called out. So, if the narcissist claims to be something that you know for sure they are not, it might really bother them to hear you say that you see through them. For example, if the narcissist is always talking about how they’re a genius, well, you might end up pointing out that you saw a copy of their IQ test and the result was average at best. Or if they claimed to have won some big beauty pageant 20 years ago, but you know they were totally the third runner-up, pointing this out is only going to upset them. If you want to avoid drama with a narcissist in this case, you’re going to have to keep pretending that you believe they’re the false self they pretend to be.
Related: 6 Things That Hurt a Narcissist Forever!
2. “I don’t remember that…”
Narcissists have a way of expecting their sources of narcissistic supply to just go along with their lies, no matter what. So if you’re with a group of friends and they tell a completely made-up story, you better go along with it or you’ll hurt their feelings, eliciting narcissistic injury at the very least and probably risking dealing with their rage later. So, for example, one friend told me a story about how her narcissistic father would always tell a made-up or at least heavily altered story that featured him as the hero in various situations. And she knew instinctively to go along with them or else.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
But one day, she’d finally had enough. So when he told yet another tall tale at a family gathering, he turned to her and said, “Remember that?” And she said, “No, actually, I don’t remember that happening that way at all.” She said he gave her the “you’re dead to me” look at that moment. And of course, when they got home, all heck broke loose and she got in big trouble. To avoid the drama here, you’re going to have to pretend that you do remember whatever story it is that they’re telling, even if it makes you look bad. Totally not worth it in my opinion.
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