Number 1: Exude confidence.
So the first, and probably the most important thing to do is to exude confidence, even if you’re not feeling confident. And if you need to go ahead and look up some tips for showing confidence or being confident, because this one is really important. Narcissists target people who don’t have confidence because their abuse works by cutting down your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. And if they feel like you’re already partly there, then it’s an easier job for them. So they’re going to target the people who might not have the confidence to stop the narcissist in their tracks to stop their nonsense.
And this one could be a little bit tricky, especially if you have let the narcissist get away with their nonsense before. But in order to get a narcissist to respect you, no matter what you do, you have to be confident. You have to at least project that confidence. And this works really, really well with a narcissistic boss or a coworker. It’s a little bit more tricky when the narcissist is a parent that you see every day, or if it’s a spouse, but it’s still possible. In those cases, I would just say just work on that confidence a little bit more gradually.
2. Starve them of empathy.
So the second way to get a narcissist to show you respect is to starve them of empathy. Now, if you may have given them the opportunity to share with you, maybe even overshare to emotionally dump on you, this is the time to stop doing that. So again, this is a little bit of a tightrope because you’re going to show the narcissist respect in the same way that you would want them to show you respect. So you’re not going to be rude about shutting them down, but you’re just not going to be the audience for whatever emotional show they have going on.
So here I would recommend politely excusing yourself. This is where time limits work really well. So you may allow them to tell you what’s going on with them and just give it a five-minute time limit so you are not getting wrapped up in, you’re not getting drawn into, whatever mess they have going on.
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