Number 7: Your forgiveness.
The final thing they test is your forgiveness. What I mean by that is that a narcissist sees what are you going to forgive and to what extent are you going to do that. Meaning, that they would make mistakes and then apologize, which would be definitely fake but intentional. However, it would be a test to see if this is the level of forgiveness that I can get from it, which means I can get away with this amount of abuse that I will do later in the future. So they are testing your level of, again, how much you can take, how much you can forgive, and how much you can let them get away with, and they are testing if you are going to hold them accountable later in the relationship or not. They’re also going to test you for how vulnerable you become and how easily you become that, and they do it by asking you about your childhood, about your previous relationships to study your behavior, to see what traits can be used against you.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship)
In a nutshell: These people are very much like predators who study the prey for days before attempting to hunt them. The hunting process is very callous and merciless because like a tiger or lion would separate that one animal from the group, the same thing is employed here, slowly, they groom you, make you feel that they are someone you can rely on and they are someone you can trust in. And once they gain this trust, they extract that information, they push your buttons, and see which buttons are pushable. Once they have that understanding of yours, they can then analyze and assess how to proceed ahead with you.
The testing doesn’t only happen on a verbal level. It also happens on a nonverbal level. They see how anxious you become when they do something, what are your anxiety levels, what are your stress levels, what is your body State overall, how you carry yourself, how you communicate, and how do you feel when you communicate about a certain thing because they can then use those emotions against you? Basically, these people look for the cracks in your personality and your psyche to use them against you. That’s why someone who is well-boundaried, someone who knows their worth, someone who knows their value, someone who knows when to say no, and someone who knows how to recognize a user, a narcissist, they will never fall into the Trap. Someone who is healed will never fall into the Trap. This is what you have to look for.
Read More: 8 Lies ALL Narcissists Tell.
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