Number 1: They do not find peace at all.
Let me ask you a question. Why are you doing the things that you’re doing in your life? Why do you want to heal? Why do you want to become better? Of course, to find peace, to find stability. And that is what most people who try and who look within achieve. But a narcissist never ever stabilizes. The fact is they can’t stand their own presence. They hate their pathetic and rotten self. I have said it so many times. They only end up creating chaos because they’re merchants of it. They end up being distraught. They are destructive and that destructiveness comes openly to the surface. Then they lose their power or whatever it is that used to enable their narcissistic false self. They are codependent cowards who pretend to be ultra-independent.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
The truth is they need you more than how much you need them, which becomes evident when they get old and/or collapse, lose power, and are not able to charm people into thinking they’re the most amazing person ever. When they become fragile, when they collapse, that disrupted self, that disorganization and dysfunction within come to the surface and they break down very quickly. With a small trigger, they either rage or cry and you wonder where that grandiose person has gone. Where is that entitlement? They seem to be in a very helpless state. If that is how they end up being, how will they ever experience peace?
Number 2: They destroy relationships with people who care about them.
And this one makes them the biggest losers ever. They destroy the relationships with people who care about them the most, who love them like no one else. They dump their friends because they are objects to be disposed of. They use their kids as objects or extensions that were created only to bring them glory. Do you think people are going to put up with that? Yes, initially they might give them some benefit of doubt. They might allow it to happen because they just want this person to change, they hope, they try, and they give chances. But ultimately what ends up happening? They end up leaving them. And the irony is, the narcissist blames everybody except themselves.
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