6. Painting the narcissist as a bad person.
So, the next one is a little surprising, and I think it applies more to some types of narcissists than others, especially the covert type of narcissist who cares about being viewed as a bad person. So if you paint the narcissist as a bad person, this is going to hit them pretty deep because the narcissist sees things and people as all good or all bad. So if you’re starting to paint the picture that they are bad, and if any of that is getting through, they’re usually pretty good at keeping it out, but sometimes some of it gets through, and then they become all bad, even in their own eyes.
And this is a very difficult place for a narcissist to be. Just imagine if you can think back to any time when they’ve seen you as all bad and how vicious they have been with you. So now imagine them feeling that themselves. And along with that is going to come shame because if you are all bad, if you see yourself as all bad, there’s going to be a whole lot of shame behind that.
7. Losing control.
Losing control is another thing that hurts a narcissist. And this can happen in small ways and big ways. In small ways, it could be like they don’t get to choose where you go for dinner or they don’t get to take the lead at the meeting. They don’t get to plan the party, things that they want to have control over and they think they should have control over because they think they can do it better than anyone else, even if they can’t. So those are small ways that a narcissist can lose control, and it very much will hurt them, even though it’s something small. And then there’s the big way, which is like the culmination of everything that we’ve talked about here. This is when the narcissist ultimately realizes that they have completely lost control over you. They know that they’ve had control for however long, and now they just can’t seem to reach you.
And I have an article where I talk about all the things that happen when a narcissist loses control. And I talk about it in degrees of severity. So what they might do early on when they think they might have a foot in the door, all the way up to where it goes when they’re sure that they have no control over you at all. I highly recommend reading that article.
Read More: 10 Types Of People Narcissists Respect.
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