3. The chance encounter.
This chance encounter is when the narcissist plans to show up exactly where they know you’re going to be. So, this might be at church, or it might be when you’re walking your dog. If you do the same thing at the same time every day, and the narcissist knows it, they know that they can get to you by just showing up. And regardless of how you feel about them, you’re going to have an emotional reaction when you see them.
And so, even if the narcissist knows that you’re not going to fall for their tricks, and they know that you’re not going to let them back in your life, they may still pop up with this chance encounter, just because they know that they can trigger you. That their mere presence will make you feel a certain way. And it’s not good.
4. Emotional manipulation.
The fourth thing a narcissist will do when they’re losing control is a whole lot of emotional manipulation and possibly emotional blackmail. Now, you’re going to deal with emotional manipulation throughout a relationship with a narcissist, let’s be real.
But it takes a very specific shape when they think they’re losing control. So, when they think they’re losing control, they’re going to try to play on your empathy. And they might play the victim. So, they’re going to do and say things that make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. Like you’ve hurt them in some way. And you may even start thinking that you’re the narcissist.
Recommended: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
And if they can get you questioning yourself and get you thinking that you played a bigger role in this than you actually did because you’re somebody who’s willing and able to take responsibility for your stuff, and none of us are perfect, if they can get you to start questioning yourself, then you might be open to having conversations with them. And that’s their foot in the door.
So, this may come in the form of a pity party, like, ‘Oh, I don’t know what I could have possibly done to deserve this treatment from you.’ Or they may tell you about how much pain they’re in as a direct result of you not being in their life. They can’t eat. They can’t sleep. They may play under empathy in this way because if you start feeling bad, the solution is clear, right? You can fix their problems.
For More: 3 Tactics Narcissists Use To Get You Back.
All you have to do is just let the narcissist back in your life. Don’t fall for it. The important thing to remember here is that if you’re falling for it, it’s because you do have empathy, and you do care about this person. So, take all that kindness and compassion that you have, and direct it towards yourself. This is where it’s needed right now. Because if you let that person back in your life, they’re only going to hurt you again in the same ways that they have repeatedly hurt you in the past. So, to be very clear, having empathy for the narcissist in this case is going to hurt you. So, this is a choice. You’re choosing you.
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