Number 6: The fear of being average.
See, narcissists have a deep fear of being average because, to them, that is the ultimate failure. They see themselves as special, superior, and destined for greatness. So, the idea of blending in or not standing out feels unbearable.
For covert narcissists, this fear shows up in subtle ways. They may live an average life on the surface, but there’s an intense sense of entitlement simmering underneath. They do believe they deserve more than they have, even if they aren’t putting in the effort to earn it. With a covert narcissist, it’s more like a quiet resentment—kind of like they’re being cheated out of something that’s rightfully theirs.
With grandiose narcissists, the fear of being average is much more out in the open. You’re more likely to see them constantly striving to be the best, whether it’s in their career, their social circles, or their hobbies. But if they try and fall short, they’ll either discredit the whole thing, acting like it wasn’t worth their time, or they’ll see anyone who outshines them as an enemy. For them, it’s not just about competition; it’s about their need to feel exceptional and to be recognized as such. If that doesn’t work out for them, they’ll retreat to a space where they feel superior again, even if it means avoiding challenges or dismissing others as less worthy.
Average, to a narcissist, is an all-out attack on their sense of superiority.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 7: Being irrelevant.
Now, let’s get to the absolute biggest fear for any narcissist, and that is being irrelevant. Narcissists fear being irrelevant more than almost anything else because their entire sense of self is tied to being noticed, admired, and validated by others. If they’re not the center of attention, they feel like they don’t exist. That’s why being treated as irrelevant is the most hurtful thing you can do to a narcissist. It strikes right at the core of their need to feel important, and this fear shows up in how desperately they seek attention, whether through praise, drama, or even negative interactions.
I know any of you who have dealt with a smear campaign can attest to this firsthand. So, when you treat a narcissist as irrelevant, you’re cutting off the lifeline they depend on for their sense of identity and worth. They can’t handle the idea of not matter to you or to anyone because it makes them feel powerless and invisible. It’s the ultimate blow to their ego, and they’ll often go to great lengths to regain your focus, whether it’s through manipulation, guilt, or by stirring up chaos just to remind you that they’re still there and they can still get to you.
So, if you’re surprised by any of these fears and want to go a little bit deeper, read this article where I share the absolute biggest secrets narcissists keep. And yes, there’s a connection between the secrets and the fears.
Read More: 5 Weird S£xµal Habits of a Narcissist.
Sharing is caring!
