Sign 5: Convincing You the World Hates You.
They convince you that the whole world hates you. They convince you that everyone secretly resents you for the person that you are, that people only tolerate you out of pity. They say things like, “No one really likes you; they just feel bad for you.” They warp reality so much that you actually start to believe it. And when you believe that—when you fully accept that you are a burden—you stop fighting, don’t you? You stop hoping; you stop seeing a way out.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
They even go a step further: they compare you with the new people they meet. Comparison is done to spark jealousy and a feeling of absolute self-disgust. They keep saying things like, “So and so is willing to obey me and do exactly what I want them to do. I thought you were made for me; turns out I was wrong.” This is how they put you down. They spread rumors, twist your words, and make you seem unstable so that when you do reach out for help, no one believes you. They slowly turn the people in your life against you. That ensures you have nowhere to turn.
Sometimes, it’s not directly harming you with their hands or forcing you to do something to yourself; sometimes, it’s about leaving you sick with terrible diseases and terminal conditions so that you just fade away. So many people have told me painful stories about other victims of the primary narcissist in their life who could not take the abuse anymore and died of an illness. That’s unbelievable, but that’s true. See, they won’t push you off the edge; they will just make sure you walk there yourself. This is not normal; this is sinister. This is not love; this is psychological mµrder.
Related: 5 Mental Illness Caused by Narcissistic Abuse.
Sign 6: Collecting Details as Weapons.
They collect every detail about you, and not for good reasons, obviously. You are aware of that. You know very well how obsessed narcissists are with wanting to know everything about your past, present, and future. At first, it feels like they care. They ask about your past, your affairs, what keeps you up at night. They want to know your insecurities, your childhood wounds—the things you never tell anyone. But they are not collecting this information to support or to heal you; they are gathering weapons. They store it all away like ammunition, waiting for the perfect time to use it against you.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
They will distort your worst experiences to convince you that you were always broken, that nothing good will ever come from you, that no one could ever truly love you. They will fill you with so much shame that you will start questioning your existence. They will make you feel so bad about yourself that you will say things like, “Why am I even alive? I am such a horrible person for hurting them.” This despair—they’ll prove to you you are a villain. They do not only project but transfer their identity onto you and watch you torture yourself for faults that are theirs.
This process is so slow that by the time you realize what’s happening, you have already handed over every piece of yourself to them. They get into your head and convince you there is no point in continuing life anymore. They make you believe you are beyond saving, that even if you tried, you would only fail. You cannot change; they push you to the edge and then act like as if they are the only ones who can pull you back, knowing fully well they never will. This is beyond heartbreaking.
Thank you so much for reading. If it was triggering, please take a minute to calm down. But if these are the signs that resonate with you, you know what to do next. You need to recognize them, and you need to save yourself.
Read More: 3 Things Narcs Do When You’re Not Manipulatable Anymore.
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