Number 6: They see the relationship failing.
No contact does not always mean that the relationship has officially ended. When the victim has not officially called off the relationship but has put a pause on communication with the narcissist, it can cause them to start hoovering. Hoovering can happen when the relationship is still on, which will be the narcissist’s attempt to keep the relationship going.
The hoovering narcissist will bring up happier times, do small gestures that the victim finds romantic, continually call and text to make their presence felt, and even fake health scares to guilt them back into the relationship full-time. When the narcissist can see the relationship hanging by a thread and the victim slowly pulling away, starting with no contact, they see that they have lost control and power.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
This will upset them and they will hold on longer and hoover more till the victim understands the importance of the relationship. This goes back into the rejection and control mentioned previously. The narcissist hoovering is only hoovering to regain control. Their need for control is what causes the narcissist to push forward and hoover more and more.
The victim will not even see it as hoovering most of the time, but as the narcissist learning the error of their ways and attempting to win back their love. They don’t see that the relationship will go back to its old ways once the narcissist has the victim back in their grip.
Read More: This Happens When You Completely Cut Off The Narcissist.
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