Defense #3: Start a smear campaign.
This brings us to the third thing—and one of the hardest and most damaging things to deal with when a narcissist knows that they can no longer manipulate you; they’ll start a smear campaign to damage your reputation. When a narcissist realizes they’ve lost control over you, they often retaliate by going for full-on character assassination. Once they realize that you’re beyond their control, their only option is to control anyone with access to you. They’ll spread rumors, twist the truth, or make you look like the villain.
And they won’t do this alone; they’ll employ flying monkeys, just like in The Wizard of Oz, to go out and do the dirty work. The flying monkeys might be your family members, your co-workers, or even your own children. The goal is always the same: to exile you, to punish you, and to make sure that no one believes you. This can be so upsetting and painful, and if this has happened to you, I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, this happens more often than not in this community, because when the narcissist can’t control you, there are really only two options: they decide to exile you through a smear campaign or you decide to exile yourself by going no contact.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Tools for empowerment.
When you’re dealing with a narcissist’s smear campaign, use the power boundary method. The goal of the smear campaign is to not only render you powerless but to take your power. The only way to protect yourself against a smear campaign is to fiercely protect your personal power, and you do this by refusing to defend, explain, or react. The minute you’re on the phone with a flying monkey, trying to get them to believe you, you’ve lost your power. The monkey’s mission is to intimidate you so that you’ll comply with the narcissist’s wishes. The more you say, the less power you have.
When they spread rumors, don’t respond. When they threaten, say nothing. When they publicly shame you, don’t let them see you waver. Believe me, I have been the brunt of more than one smear campaign, and I know it’s painful. I know it’s unfair, but the only thing that you can do is to withdraw your attention and move on with your life. This is the ultimate revenge.
Knowing what to expect is your first line of defense, but now that you’ve learned what happens after the narcissist knows you know, you need to learn a few magic phrases to not only end manipulation but to actively keep narcissists away. So click this article to learn 13 phrases that narcissists hate, why they work, and how to use them in any situation.
Read More: 3 Ruthless Ways Narcissists End Relationships.
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