When a narcissist knows you’re onto them, it means that they’ve noticed a change in your pattern. They see that you’re no longer willing to give them the same amount of time, attention, or energy. In this context, energy can mean emotional energy, financial energy, enabling energy, anything that helps reinforce the narrative they have about themselves. They notice if you’re no longer playing along with their story, whether it’s that of the admired hero or the pied victim. Somehow, your behavior has changed enough to alert them that you’re no longer going to give them what they want.
To a narcissist, this is an act of war against the carefully curated image that they present to the world, and they feel extremely threatened by that. So they’ll be watching you like a hawk for anything they can use against you, if it’s something you say or something you do. Just be aware that the minute you start to heal, or communicate boundaries, or change your behavior—even if it’s a subtle pushback against their manipulation—it’s the minute that they’re going to switch tactics to deal with this new threat.
Don’t underestimate this. A narcissist would rather see your life ruined at their own expense than to let you go in peace.
So let’s get into the three things you can expect, in order of difficulty, and how you can deal with these challenges.
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