#3: Attacking your insecurities.
The third ruthless way that a narcissist will end a relationship is by attacking your insecurities. This, honestly, is one of the laziest and also gut-wrenching ways for a narcissist to end a relationship. Because again, they’re making you believe that you are the reason they’re leaving. But they’re not just giving you any reason; they’ll go straight for the thing you already are insecure about. So maybe you’ve always struggled with social anxiety, let’s say, or maybe you’ve always had body issues. Maybe you’ve worried that you’re not outgoing enough, successful enough. The narcissist knows exactly what that thing is, and when they’re ready to walk away, they’re likely to use it as an excuse. They might say, “I can’t be with someone who’s this awkward in social situations,” or “I need someone more confident,” or even, “You’re just too sensitive, and I can’t deal with it anymore.” And because this insecurity already exists within you, it cuts deep. You don’t just feel rejected; you feel exposed, like they finally confirmed the thing you feared all along.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
But here’s what you need to remember: this isn’t about you. A narcissist’s reasons for leaving have nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with their own selfish motives. But they want you to believe it is about you because if they can make you think you’re the problem, they know you’ll stay stuck. You’ll second-guess yourself; you’ll start wondering if you can change, if you should change, if maybe, just maybe, they’d come back if you fix this one thing about yourself. And that’s the real trap. Because when they do come back—and they often do—it feels like proof that what they said wasn’t true, that maybe you are valuable after all. And just like that, your self-worth gets tangled up in their approval, making it even harder to walk away the next time they pull the same stunt.
But the truth is, no one who truly loves you would ever use your biggest insecurity as a weapon against you. If someone leaves you this way, the real issue isn’t whatever flaw they try to pin on you; the real issue is them.
Read More: When a Narcissist Realizes You’ll Never Come Back – 3 Moves They Make.
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