Number 10: Emotionally avoidant.
Now, this one’s confusing, because narcissists are highly seductive when they want to be. So how is it that they are also avoidant? Well, unless they’re motivated for whatever reason and you’re being seduced or love-bombed, you can’t get close. They’re fundamentally emotionally unavailable and incapable of real authentic intimacy. In other words, you can’t connect in a real lasting, healthy, and loving way. Just when you think you’re getting through to them or getting close to them, they’ll sabotage whatever good may be going on in the relationship. They withdraw for no apparent reason and enjoy using withholding behavior to keep you at a safe distance.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Your attempts to connect in any real way are met with accusations of your being needy and clingy. And when you withdraw, because you can’t take the rejection anymore, they then move toward you. So the dynamic looks and feels like this: “Someone’s always running, and someone’s always chasing. Someone’s always running, and someone’s always chasing.” If this sounds like you and your life, understand this is not a healthy relationship.
Number 11, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’s personality.
You never know who you’re going to be dealing with. You spend a lot of time walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop. They can change on a dime. One minute, all as well. The next, the energy shifts, their jaw clenches, and you have no idea what exactly set them off. In fact, you probably spend a lot of time and energy managing yourself, the kids, and your environment trying to avoid setting him off, it’s exhausting.
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