Number 1: “You’d be nothing if it weren’t for me.”
Narcissists will happily take credit for your accomplishments and all of the hard work you’ve put into doing, creating, building, or even becoming something that they themselves have not. And although they may or may not have contributed in some way, usually a very small way if at all, to helping you get where you are, regardless, they’ll be of the mindset that if it weren’t for them, you’d be nothing, an absolute zero, a total lost cause.
Can you imagine what kind of empathy-impaired, entitled, and self-absorbed emotional manipulator you’d have to be to say the words, “You’d be nothing if it weren’t for me” to another human being, one you supposedly love no less? They sure are something, aren’t they?
They’ll also happily remind you of just how much you owe them for your own success. They don’t just want to share in your glory, they want all of the glory for themselves, and anything else they can exploit you for along the way. These are the people who are not only jealous of you but are actually mad at you for enjoying the success that they themselves have been unwilling to work for.
Number 2: “You’re overreacting.” Or similarly, “You’re too sensitive.”
Now, this is another example of a provocative statement narcissists will routinely make with deliberate intent to provoke you by devaluing you. What they’re fundamentally saying with this one is your emotions are not valid. They want to be able to do and say whatever they want without consequences or any kind of pushback. So when you react, they’ll call it an overreaction, and diminish you and your very legitimate feelings.
They say this because they don’t want to acknowledge or own any responsibility for the fact that their words, action, or non-action have hurt you. So instead, they make it your fault. And of course, this is a ploy to manipulate you and your feelings. They’re trying to gaslight you into believing you’re the issue because you’re just too sensitive.
This is classic narcissistic abuse, friends. So please do not fall for it. Nobody gets to tell you whether or not your feelings are valid. Although feelings are not necessarily facts, the reality is if you feel it, it’s true for you. Period!
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