4. They Harm and Destroy Themselves.
Victims frequently reflect on the abuse and hear the abuser’s voice in their heads, which increases their negative self-talk and tendency for self-sabotage. Narcissists, who are toxic, plan and condition their victim to self-destruct, and sometimes to the point of suicide.
Victims acquire a tendency to punish themselves because they carry such toxic shame as a result of the narcissist subtle and overt put-downs, verbal abuse, and hypercriticism. They could destroy their ambitions dreams and academic achievements. They come to believe that they are undeserving of nice things because the abuser has created a sense of worthlessness in them. A greater sense of hopelessness may accompany depression and anxiety.
A Book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Your situation feels intolerable as if you wouldn’t be able to flee even if you wanted to. You develop an ingrained sense of helplessness that makes you feel as if you don’t want to live another day. Victims of intimate partner violence are twice as likely to try suicide many times. This is how abusers practically commit murder without leaving a trace.
3. They Isolate Themselves.
Many abusers isolate their victims, but victims also distance themselves because they are embarrassed by the abuse. Victims may be traumatized by law enforcement, family members, friends, and the narcissist household members, who may invalidate their views of the abuse, given the victim-blaming and beliefs regarding emotional and psychological violence in society.
They are afraid that no one would understand or believe them, so rather than seeking help, they choose to isolate themselves from others in order to avoid judgment and punishment from their abuser.
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