Number 3: You’re onto them.
Another reason they’ll pick fights is, one way or another, it’s become clear that you see right through the bullshit and aren’t falling for the false image and all of the perception manipulation they’ve got going on. Moreover, you’re not believing the lies. Once they realize you’re starting to see beyond the mask and false persona, it becomes a game of devaluing and discrediting you. As you enter the devalue and discard phase of the toxic abuse cycle.
You become the enemy and thus a target once they realize they can no longer control, manipulate, dominate, dupe, or deceive you into believing there’s something they are not. You’re a lot more fun for the narcissist when you’re all charmed and impressed. When you cease to be fooled by their fake phony facade, it’s not over. Yet… First, it’s on.
Number 4: They want to blame & shame you.
The fourth reason they’ll pick fights with you is so they can now blame and shame you as a result of deliberately provoking a negative reaction from you. This is a sick little technique commonly used by narcissists called narcissistic baiting. But the point being, narcissists deliberately pick fights with deliberate intent to manufacture a specific outcome, namely being able to point the finger at and blame and shame you.
They enjoy dragging you down to their level and getting you to roll around in the mud with them. They enjoy getting you all frothed up, angry, overwhelmed, and confused, if they can do it. They enjoy the toxicity and the negativity it produces. It’s their comfort zone. And they especially enjoy being able to take the onus and focus off of themselves and their own maladaptive behavior by pointing the finger at you and labeling you the problem. This really works for them.
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