1. Confusion.
For starters, if and when you leave, their first reaction is usually confusion. They cannot figure out why on earth you left because narcissists live in an alternate reality. They have created a false and phony narrative about themselves, their lives, and their importance. That narrative is everything to them, even if they have been abusing you, raging at you, cheating on you, neglecting you for years and years, they do not live in a reality-based world. In their mind, the abusive behaviors they have been subjecting you to are entitlements that they deserve. So it’s not uncommon for their first reaction to being one of confusion.
2. Anger & rage.
If you do not come back in a relatively short period of time, their confusion will move into anger and even rage. How dare you even think that you have the authority or right to leave them? Who in the hell do you think you are? Remember, narcissists are always running a phony narrative in their minds that will put them in one of three roles: They will be the hero, the martyr, the victim, or some combination of all three.
Never will they be or accept the accurate and reality-based role they have played, which is the role of the villain, of the abuser, of the destroyer of happiness and joy; that does not align with the phony beliefs that they want to believe and certainly want others to believe about them.
And if you try and suggest that this is the role they have played, they usually will become extremely offended. Not only do they see themselves in the reality of the role they have played, but they also do not believe that you have any right to suggest otherwise. It’s not uncommon for them to start talking about all of the things they have done for you over the years, how ungrateful you are, and how much they have had to sacrifice for you.
They are genuinely offended and enraged that you insignificant, undeserving you dare to suggest things are not the way that the narcissist wants to gaslight and manipulate the rest of the world into believing. In their mind, you are beneath them, you are worthless compared to them, and you have stepped way out of line and they are going to remind you who runs the show and who doesn’t. So brace yourself for some extreme delusional thinking. Brace yourself for rage, contempt, and disgust, and brace yourself to be devalued degraded, and marginalized.
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