1. Defining your boundaries.
The first step to this process is simply defining your boundaries. You have to decide what you will and will not tolerate. I would encourage you to give this some real thought and consideration and I would write them out so that you can memorize them and refer to them when necessary. In some cases, you might even decide you want to give a copy of your list of boundaries to the narcissist so that there isn’t any confusion on exactly what they are.
You have to learn where you need to draw the line in your life with other people. in the case of my client Brittany and Josh, this was a process. They gave this considerable thought into consideration because they wanted to make certain that they were not being unfair or too extreme, which by the way is very common when you first do this.
Many times we will feel guilty, even thinking about establishing or enforcing boundaries for the first time in our lives. We genuinely care that we take everyone’s feelings and needs into consideration. I know that my clients Brittany and Josh desperately wanted to maintain a relationship with their families and to have a loving relationship with their daughters. They expressed that to me time and time again.
However, again, boundaries are critically important in families like ours. If you don’t have any boundaries, the damage and destruction that likely will happen to your life will be tremendous. So please, keep this in mind when you are defining these boundaries. This is not selfish or a bad thing; This is one of the most loving and compassionate things you can do for yourself and your loved ones. They are there to keep you safe and happy.
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