Today’s topic is about something that I know so many of us have struggled with for years when dealing with a narcissist, and it really doesn’t matter who exactly the narcissist is in your life because they all utilize this form of manipulation. So it could be your spouse, your significant other, your sibling, your parent, your co-worker, your boss; today we’re talking about the infuriating, the frustrating, and the crazy-making word salad the narcissist’s favorite vehicle for communicating.
For those of you, who may have never heard the term word salad, let me explain exactly what that is and what that means.
“Word salad is the term people in this community came up with to describe the patterns of communication and the styles of using language or the styles and patterns of conversation that all narcissists tend to use”.
Maybe you have never heard the term, but if you have had a relationship with a narcissist, there is no doubt in my mind that you are acutely aware that when you have a conversation with this person, things never seem to get resolved or you come away more frustrated and more confused than you were before you ever even had this conversation. Or, maybe after the conversation, you all of a sudden have taken accountability for something that you originally thought was the narcissist’s fault, or after the conversation, somehow you feel sorry for the narcissist or feel guilty for something you hadn’t felt guilty for before the conversation.
Lundy Bancroft: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Welcome to the world of word salad. You have just had a conversation searching for conclusions and resolutions with a human being who could not be interested in those things in the least. See, your objective and the narcissist’s objective for having a conversation are two completely different things. You are searching for answers, meaning, honesty, transparency, but the narcissist is searching for a narcissistic supply, to escape accountability, to confuse, distress, and frustrate.
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