2. Feigning Change.
Another act they will be able to keep up for some time is the “I have changed” act. Narcissists have no issues claiming or promising change. They will put in all the effort needed to convince the necessary target that they have changed. They would go all out and do whatever it takes to convince you that they have or are working on themselves.
I am not saying that a Narcissist cannot genuinely seek to change, but for many of them, it doesn’t last. And if you take them back too quickly at the slightest sight of progress, you are setting them and yourself up for failure and disappointment. Because as I emphasized before, as soon as the Narcissist gets comfortable and has your love again…guess what, expect that old monster to raise its ugly head.
A Book: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.
Change for a Narcissist is birth through a prolonged period of pain and sacrifice. Also, it is not just a mental issue; it is a spiritual issue as well. And unless both factors are addressed, all you have is a Narcissist who has just mastered how to manipulate and gaslight you a bit better. That is why if a Narcissist sets out to change, let them but do not be the one to test the waters.
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