4. Accept their limitations.
The next thing you have to do is accept who they are. Accept the narcissist’s limitations. So whenever you have to deal with them, understand what they cannot do, that is they cannot be real or empathetic or offer any concern for your actual well-being or anything like that. Know what it is that you have to deal with when you’re dealing with them.
Whatever your outcome needs to be, don’t let them convince you. Otherwise, if you need something you need them to sign a paper, you need them to take your kid to the doctor or whatever it is, go in and understand that’s what you’re going in for that’s the goal that you have to accomplish.
Don’t let them make excuses. Don’t fall into your old habits of kind of coddling them or bending beyond your comfort level just to reach a compromise or to get where you’re trying to go. Because if you do that, it will just keep going forever.
And ever since you’re stuck dealing with this person for whatever reason, yes, you do have to deal with their shortcomings but no you don’t have to let them cross your boundaries. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do for that person unless you’re legally required to do so.
Believe me, I know all of this is easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to hear it. And like I tell you all the time, the final thing to remember here is that no matter what, you definitely will not change the narcissist so just accept that that’s the truth. If by some miracle, the narcissist manages to change and become a whole different person, call me and let me know. I’m interested but I’ve never seen it happen.
Phrases to Shut Down a Narcissist.
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