1. Be aware of what you’re dealing with
The first thing you have to do is be aware of what you’re dealing with, and recognize the signs that you’re dealing with passive-aggressive behavior- it’s sort of like silver coating the hatefulness. Instead of just saying what they mean, they kind of put a real thin coat of sugar on it, but you’re probably an empath or at least someone who understands people really well, so you probably see right through that stuff if you’re anything like me.
But remember, this person is out to get back at you for some reason or to punish you for something. But if you can quickly identify that this is passive-aggressive behavior, you’re one step closer to overcoming this problem. And the first step is to disengage from that person and that behavior.
So watch for these behaviors, watch for someone who gossips all the time, or somebody who is always procrastinating in order to make your life harder. I mean, we all procrastinate a little bit right, but when someone’s doing it constantly to you as a way to manipulate and control you, then this is passive-aggressive behavior.
Watch for the silent treatment, watch for someone who pretends they don’t hear you, or they don’t understand you, or they can’t get what you’re saying. That’s a typical narcissist tactic as well.
2. Refuse to engage with that person
They want you to act out on your frustration with their behavior. And they want a reason to come back at you and play the victim, or act like you’ve done something wrong to them. They want you to act out their feelings. It’s one of the forms of narcissistic supply. But if you can recognize these behaviors upfront, and make the choice to not engage, then you don’t have to get involved in this power struggle that they have going on.
So when you feel this stuff coming on, and you know when it’s happening, then you change the way you react or you don’t react at all. Remind yourself that this is passive-aggressive behavior and that you’ve seen this before, and you tell yourself, I am not falling for this, this time, and then you don’t. Recognize that by not giving them any of your emotional energy, it’s just going to escalate and get worse until it explodes.
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