As I mentioned, enmeshment is a very common issue in narcissistic families. I’ve seen this over and over. The definition of an enmeshed relationship is a dysfunctional state where two or more people have a relationship without any distinguishable boundaries. And narcissistic mothers are notorious for having enmeshed relationships with their sons.
The enmeshment also typically starts happening very early in the boy’s life. This mother relies on her son to make her life meaningful. She fosters a relationship of mutual dependency between the two of them. This boy realizes very early in life that his mother’s love is conditional. She doesn’t love him for him, she loves him for what he can do for her.
The son’s value depends on the extent to which he caters to his mother and her ideals and ego. Basically, the son’s primary reason for existing is to supply this mother with the narcissistic supply that she requires. This boy never really develops an independent sense of self. His identity becomes completely enmeshed and indistinguishable from his mother’s.
Essentially, as the boy develops and matures, his sense of self is submerged and suffocated. And his identity becomes completely intertwined with his mother’s, her life, her wishes, her desires, and wants to become his.
The narcissistic mothers and Their Sons’ relationship.
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