1. Identify & Acknowledge.
You can’t deal with what you don’t acknowledge. And don’t get me wrong here, this isn’t to say that you can change the person you suspect is a covert narcissist, I assure you, you cannot. What it means is if something feels off, if there are strange patterns of behavior, if there are repeated instances of so-called miscommunication, if you find their attitudes are odd, if you have a strange feeling in your stomach around this person, pay attention, trust yourself. Tell yourself the truth when you get that sick feeling in your stomach.
As Maya Angelou said, “When they show you who they are, believe them the first time.” And this means paying attention to patterns of thinking and behaving that deep down you intuitively know aren’t healthy. Don’t ignore red flags. Yes, give people the benefit of the doubt, but when things don’t add up on repeat, don’t lie to yourself about that.
When you can see that they are very easy, slighted, or offended, when their jaw clenches over what is basically nothing, sometimes as simple as a harmless comment in passing, know that this is their stuff. And the longer you hang around trying to pretend that unhealthy is healthy, the more likely you’re going to end up with all of their stuff all over you.
So pay attention and tell yourself the truth so you can identify who and what you’re dealing with, sooner rather than later. Identifying and acknowledging is the first step to protecting yourself from a covert narcissist. And if you want to learn more about the specifics of how to spot covert narcissists’ personality disorder, you can read this article here.
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